Free self-assessment · 12 questions

What's your stress response in relationships?

When a relationship gets tense — a disagreement, a cold silence, an unmet need — your nervous system activates a survival pattern before your conscious mind catches up. This quiz helps you identify which of five responses is your default: fight, flight, freeze, fawn, or regulated.

Rooted in trauma-informed somatic psychology and polyvagal theory. Created by Aseya Lukina, psychologist trained in EMDR.

Nervous system regulation Fight flight freeze fawn Attachment patterns EMDR & somatic therapy

Question 1 of 12 0%

Your full profile

About this quiz

The fight, flight, freeze, and fawn responses are automatic nervous system reactions to perceived threat. In relationships, these responses are triggered not by physical danger but by emotional cues — a partner's silence, a raised voice, an unmet need, or low-level tension. Understanding your default stress response is the first step toward nervous system regulation and healthier relational patterns.

This quiz includes a fifth option — the secure, regulated response — because not all reactions under stress are dysregulated. Somatic therapy and EMDR work supports clients in expanding their capacity to respond from a grounded place, even in the most activating relational moments.

If you recognise patterns of fawning (people-pleasing), emotional withdrawal (flight), conflict avoidance (freeze), or reactivity (fight) in your relationships, working with a trauma-informed therapist can help you understand the nervous system roots of these patterns and build lasting regulation capacity.

Aseya Lukina is a psychologist trained in EMDR offering individual telehealth sessions for high-achievers experiencing burnout, anxious attachment, and relationship stress. Book a free consultation →